How to get over being cheated on
So how should you handle your wife or girlfriend cheating on you? And how to get over being cheated on?
Cheating is a lot of men’s worst nightmare, and a deal breaker. Rightly so. If you are wondering what you should do if you have ever been cheated on, read on.
An affair occurs for two fundamental reasons. The woman gets bored with her lover and wants a change or she feels frustrated in the relationship and wants happiness elsewhere. Another reason woman cheat is because they are simply have no integrity, and feel that it is no big deal.
How to Recover and Get Over Being Cheated On
Many men believe that the worst thing a woman can ever do to them is to cheat on them. If you’ve ever experienced this, certainly you are all too familiar with the pain, the anger, sadness, and the feeling of being betrayed which comes as a result of having your woman cheat on you. However, being cheated on by your wife or girlfriend doesn’t have to feel like the end of the world and you can recover from it faster than you think. In this article, we’ll be talking about why cheating is so painful for men to deal with and how you can keep it from destroying your confidence as a man.
Why is Cheating So Painful?
Being cheated on is certainly painful for both men and women, but for different reasons. For a man, it’s a crushing blow to his self-confidence when he finds out that his wife or girlfriend has “chosen another man over him.” Even if the cheating simply involves sex, a man is left with a feeling that he was somehow “not good enough” and that his girlfriend or wife choose someone else because of this. This strikes directly at the core human emotional need for validation, and invokes feelings of jealousy and inferiority.
Jealousy is one of the most painful and destructive emotions you’ll ever have to confront in your life. As long as you have jealousy in your heart, it will be impossible for you to recover from being cheated on. So how can you deal with this feeling of jealousy and move on after your wife or girlfriend has cheated on you? The first thing to do is to go back to the root of what caused the feeling of jealousy in the first place: the emotional need for validation.
Dealing With Jealousy and Maintaining Your Confidence
The need for validation is completely normal, but there are both healthy and unhealthy ways in which you can meet this need. Many men seek validation from women by allowing the woman’s opinion of them to determine their value as a man. The problem with this is that as man you’re giving a woman far too much power, and power which she herself would probably rather not be responsible for. Ask any woman, and they’ll tell you that they want a man who knows how to take charge and to his confidence and stable in the management of his emotions.
The most important time for a man to be in control of his emotions is during times of conflict or turmoil. During conflicts, a woman is more likely to say things that will hurt your feelings and challenge your ability to manage your emotions in a mature manner. The more you depend on your woman’s opinion of you to meet your emotional need for validation, the harder it will be for you to keep your cool when there is drama or conflict.
In the same way, the secret to keeping your emotions under control after your woman had cheated on you is not giving her the responsibility of validating you as a man. This is a decision which you can make early on in the relationship and one which will make it much easier for you to be true to yourself and to keep her behaviours, such as cheating, from driving you mad. The more you do this, the less need you’ll feel to make yourself responsible for her behaviours and the less her poor choices will crush your confidence.
Finally, find a healthier way to meet your need for validation instead of giving this responsibility over to your woman. Remember, the person who you make responsible for you is also the person you allow to have control over you. Part of becoming a man and making good mature decisions in your relationships is taking responsibility for the fulfilment of your emotional needs. The more responsibility you give yourself, the more control you give yourself and the easier it is for you to avoid jealousy and to deal with a cheating partner so that you can get on with your life.
Consider it a blessing
If you are not married and don’t have any kids then count your blessings that at least now you know what she is like.
Remember, you should not judge yourself by your women’s actions, you cannot blame yourself, although there will be a temptation to do this. You can’t take responsibility for her behaviour. You can only be responsible for yourself.
If she is the type of woman who has done this before, you might be thinking how you can change her.. how to turn her into a loyal woman of self respect.. But it won’t happen, she needs to change on her own, and there is nothing you, or anyone else can do to help. The best thing you can do is to find someone who has integrity. Women who have self respect are out there.
Woman who have no integrity can’t be helped..the minimum requirement to look for in a new woman is integrity..assuming you want a healthy relationship, that is.
So do you think if you are in a bad relationship with a partner who lies and cheats, you will always feel jealous? Should you be in complete control of your emotions?
I believe the negative feelings a person experiences as a result of being in a bad relationship with a partner who lies and cheats have nothing to do with jealousy. They have everything to do with being blatantly disrespected, devalued, and rejected in a variety of ways by their partner. A partner who lies and cheats is selfish and self-centered. I am a big believer in that it is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Of course, not everyone feels that way. Some people can’t stand to be alone for a variety of reasons and stay in bad relationships by choice. I think all of the conflict and negative feelings eventually take their toll on a person over time, affecting their health and overall well being. I don’t see how anyone can be truly happy by staying in an unhealthy relationship. Once you acknowledge you are in a bad relationship but choose to stay, then at some point you have to stop blaming your partner and look in the mirror. If you choose to stay, then you have to modify your behavior instead of adding to the problems by continously being devastated when your partner lies and cheats on you.
I don’t think we can control our emotions in such a situation. I do, however, believe we can control how we behave in response to those emotions. Is our partner to blame for the sadness, anger, and hurt we feel as a result of lying and cheating on us? In many ways, yes. But we are responsible for the choices we made when it came to selecting that person to have a committed relationship with, for giving too much of ourselves to that person too soon. And when our partner continues to prove that they are prone to lying and cheating, the blame eventually falls on us for choosing to stay in the relationship.
I know in my experience, if you stay in a bad relationship long enough, all the hurt your partner causes slowly chips away at your love for them until one day, you feel absolutely nothing. When you stop loving someone, the hurt stops, too. You develop an “I don’t care” attitude. Some people can live that way, but that’s not the kind of life I would recommend for anyone. I know I didn’t want to live that way. I hope you have found this article on how to get over being cheated on useful.