Why Am I Jealous
I have asked myself many times, why do I get jealous? what is the reason I get jealous?
Everyone feels jealousy from time to time, although some people may experience more jealousy than others.
You might be tempted to think that the reason you feel jealous IS because your girlfriend is flirting with another man, or because you saw her dancing with one of your friends at a party, but let me tell you there is more to it than meets the eye.
Lets go deeper and really ask ourselves ‘why do I get jealous?’ really look at why we are feeling this way? what is causing us to have this feeling INSIDE because of HER actions?
The truth is, generally speaking, feeling jealous says more about your own security or insecurity as a man, rather than about how your partner is acting. Said differently, if you are a man that feels insecure, threatened, mistreated or vulnerable in your relationship, then you are much more likely to feel jealousy by any action your partner does, however innocent they may be, than a man who doesn’t have those tendencies.
A jealous person will think too little of themselves.. and they attach their value of themselves with what they have or don’t have or what they achieve and don’t achieve..i,e you are a better human being because you are better looking for example. If you lose money or a job, you infer that you are less of a person.. and most importantly, you judge worthiness by whether you are loved or not. You look for validation from the relationship that you are NOT unworthy.
So its not just a case of she does something, and I feel jealous. the reason you are feeling this way is not simply what SHE is doing, its more about how you are interpreting what she is doing and your own internal wiring.
Jealousy is not your problem per say, but simply a reflection of the problem inside.
Jealous men generally regard themselves as worthless or inadequate or even unlovable individuals who have very little to offer the girlfriend
They think that they are a ‘no body’ until someone loves them.
If this is you, ask yourself this question: How can you think that you need your partners love, when for most of your life, you did not have their love? Does that mean you were miserable all the years prior? Most likely you had good times the years before you met your partner, and will continue to do so afterwards if she leaves you. Also, why are you giving someone else the authority on your worthiness? How are they the expert? If you are constantly asking yourself ‘why do I get jealous?’, then you know its time to do something about it.
Jealous men also see other men as threats and very importantly- the more the man believes that he cannot compete with them, the more he will feel jealous.
Other reasons why men may feel jealous:
- Old hurts from past relationship betrayals or break ups
- Old hurts from childhood (abuse or parents having affairs)
- Beliefs about relationships in general
- Beliefs about men or women in general
- Lack of or confusing communication in current relationship
- Betrayals, lying and past infidelity in current relationships